jane mount
Kevin Trageser

Sam Smith- Stay With Me

Posted 3 weeks ago

I am uncomfortable. I am uncomfortable in my skin, my bones. I am uncomfortable in my hardware, my software, my compatibility. I am uncomfortable in my body, in my flesh, in this city. I don’t fit. My blood spills out, my bones crook at too-odd angles, nothing fits in this skin. I work too hard, and I miss too much. I miss fitting in and feeling just right. I miss being home, and feeling home. I thought this would be easier, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m living for someone else. Is this what I want? Do I know what I want? What am I doing? I don’t know. But it’s making me uncomfortable. 

Posted 3 weeks ago
» Kelsey Garrity Riley
"I’ve stopped being sorry for all my soft. I won’t apologise because I miss you, or because I said it, or because I text you first, or again. I think everyone spends too much time trying to close themselves off. I don’t want to be cool or indifferent, I want to be honest. If I love you at 5AM, I’d damn well rather that you know I felt it. If I love you two hours later, I’ll tell you then too. Listen, I won’t wait double the time it takes for you to text me back because I don’t want to. I don’t care enough to be patient with you. I’m happy, you made me feel that way, don’t you want to know? So that’s how it’s going to be. I’m going to leave myself as open as a church door. And I’m going to wake you up before the crack of dawn to tell you that I’m fucking joyful, no pretending, not from me, not ever. Would you like some coffee, would you please kiss me? Here, these are my hands, this is my mouth, it is all yours." —Azra.T “Don’t Wait Three Days to Text First.” 
Detail 2 - Gus Hughes

Photographed by Antonio Navarro Wijkmark

My sister bought me my first alex and ani bracelet when I graduated high school in 2010 and since then, I’ve always carried resilience around with me on my wrist. I’ve accumulated a few more in the past four years, most of them gifts. The path of life from amanda, a pineapple and the carnival wrap from Kristy and Nina, the puzzle piece again, from my sister, and the “make your mark on the world” from my roommate’s mom for graduation. Each a reflection of the things people have seen in me that they love and appreciate. I bought one for myself, the earth wrap, as a reminder to keep to my roots and stay grounded. They mean a lot to me, always have, and the day before I left newark (as a college graduate), I bought one more bracelet. I didn’t have anything in mind when I walked in, but when I saw the phoenix, I just sort of knew. 

I think about the person I was when I first came to college and it makes it kind of incredible to look at the person that walked out. I was so sick, all my scars were still very visible but I watched myself grow day by day. Through four years, I learned so much. I made friends that I’ll have for the rest of my life. And now I know that just because you love someone doesn’t mean it always works out. I know now that your soulmate doesn’t have to be a boy, it’s someone that loves you and understands you, feels your heart beat in their chest, and you know that that friend will be there forever, no matter the distance. People can become your flesh and blood, and holy shit, that’s important. It’s important to keep in touch, and be available to the people that need you. I feel so comfortable in my skin now, and that’s important too. Because for a year and a half, I knew how it felt not to. I knew what the worst rock bottom felt like. I learned depression and hopelessness. I struggled so much. But I also learned talking and therapy and I learned to feel my feelings. 

I’ve made peace with so many things. I have grown so much, been through so much, burned a million times over and risen ten fold. I am proud of myself, my accomplishments, my family and friends, I know that I can endure. I know they’re just bracelets, but I hold the things they represent very close, just as I hold my memories, my friends, and the past four years very close. I came to college sick, I struggled with depression, my health, who I was, and what I wanted. I graduate with a sturdy mind and a healthy heart, a wonderful job and beautiful relationships, a phoenix. 

Posted 1 month ago

Sew My Mouth Shut - The Flatliners

Posted 1 month ago